Monday 30 January 2012

The must see movie titles of 2012

As some of you might be aware when im not posting gifs and pictures I take an interest in films ! So with that in mind I have compiled a list of must see titles for 2012. Ill try my best to put them in release order but if I don't no moaning !







The Grey - First up we have a film on general release at the moment "The Grey". The synopsis is simple; a bunch of guys get into an airplane crash up a mountain and have to survive each other, the wilds and the wolves to get home alive. I could watch Liam Neeson do almost anything (including stand up thanks life's to shrot), so its a no brainer for me.

I think watching Liam Neeson fight a wolf with broken mini bottles of spirits taped to his hand is worth the price of admission on its own.





John Carter, of Mars - A Disney real time action film ? really ? REALLY ? Yes it looks decent and comes from good source material also directed by Pixar stalwart Andrew Stanton. Guy ends up in Mars and has superman esq super powers (because of low gravity) with lots of stuff happening with aliens. I'm not saying this is going to change your life but it looks decent enough !







The Hunger Games - Some of you have probably seen Battle Royale, If not go rent it on Nexflix or "find" it and watch it! The Hunger games is based on the original novel where the general concept was "get loads of kids to kill each other". However how original the novel was given that it was pretty much directly cribbing from battle royale is up to you.

The basic premise is thus; lots of teenagers murdering each other in a last man standing format, the winner being the one who gets set free gets to live. Looks very well made even if it does have the kid who starred in "firehouse dog" in it, yes I have see that movie, I really have its bad really really bad.



Goon - The general premise of this one seems to be Sean William Scott beating people up and they managed to make a 90 minute movie of this and the trailer made me laugh out loud (and from advanced reviews it does look good). So here you go, also if Sean William Scott doesnt make you laugh this might not be for you !





American Pie, The Reunion - If you're in your 30's like I have found myself then the American Pie films should be a guilty pleasure for you, films that sort of bookended your life perfectly. Now they have decided to get the cast back together for a reunion, these films (with the main cast not the other shit ones) have never let me down and they are as warm and touchy (fuck you I can feel warm and touchy) as they are disgusting and funny. So go see it ! (plus Sean William Scott is in it and if you can't tell already I am totally gay for him!).





The Avengers - We have like little petulant children waited and waited and sat through character origins movie after character origins movie for this moneyshot of a film and its being directed by own personal guilty pleasure in Joss Wheadon (who does great ensemble pieces). This for me is easily one of the most exciting films of the year, not much else needs to be said watch the trailer and laugh at the interaction between the characters !



The Dictator is Sacha Baron Cohen's latest project, coming to realisation that even Americans aren't stupid enough to get fooled again by his faux documentary style film making he has gone back to a more conventional style of film making. For me this fills me with dread I will still be there to watch it but nothing as long as I can live will be able to erase the memorys of the last time he tried to do a "proper" movie (Ali G Aiii) .

The trailer is amusing though !




Prometheus - Ridley Scott is doing an Alien prequel that's not a prequel.. Fuck I dont know its all confusing but I see the space jockey in the trailer and the alien ship from Alien/Aliens. So sign me up even if its to watch Ridley shitting for an hour and a half, it will be better than AVP and AVP 2.










The Dark Knight Rises - Unless you live in a cave, on the moon or in the Amazonian jungle then you will have seen the Dark Knight and probably Inception too,.Christopher Nolan ends his run of Batman films with the Dark Knight rises and includes Tom Hardy (who is on a mission to appear in every film released for the next decade) as Bain. It will be a brilliantly crafted epic and we will all cry, laugh and wet ourselves when it happens!





Finding Nemo - Disney are never shy in trying to make money, so with this in mind they have turned their best Pixar film (yes its the best it really is) into a 3D movie with a full cinema re-release and like massive saps will we all go and watch it and love it all over again.

Yes take my money Disney, take it, take it all!!



The Hobbit - Peter Jackson returns and is given as much money as he wants to make the Hobbit into a 2 part film. I never liked the Hobbit as a book I really didn't ! so I am hopeful a bit of Jackson and Weta magic will help me finally enjoy this saga. I am hopeful !




There are a lot more films coming out in 2012 that you will want to see but ive tried to cram in my personal _must_ see's. I will also be doing an update with the "worst" of 2012 and the avoid at all costs in my next update !

Friday 27 January 2012

Where the hell is Matt Hooper??

Boys, oh boys... I think he's come back for his noon feeding. 

Now I love Jaws, it is a timless classic a crafted well paced film that has all the elements to make you watch it over and over and trust me I have. However something always bothers me ( and no its not the bad 70's hair and dress sense.), just where does Matt Hooper go at the end of the film? 

His cage gets eaten by Jaws and he just sort of disappears?! Turning up at the end of the big finale for a bit of a gentle swim back to shore. Lord Lucan and Shergar would be proud of his ability to almost evaporate, I mean there is a good 10-15 minutes where he is just swimming around under water.

What makes it worse is they never talk about it when they are swimming back, you know a simple so while Quint was being eaten and I saved the day where did you go? Nothing, almost like what happens at sea stays at sea. It makes you wonder what else happend on that ship they dont talk about.. a bit of casual raping and pillaging or some sort of drunken fumble in the engine room? Did Quint and Hooper have a brokeback moment?  When Hooper does turn up the only person he is concerned about is Quint, so there might be more to it than you could believe!


                         An artists rendition of what Matt Hooper was doing during Jaws*
                                                                  *An Awesome artist at that